


and they said, speak now

by borrowedthemoonlite (orphan_account)



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, Marriage Proposal, Song: Speak Now (Taylor Swift), Weddings, only partially though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/borrowedthemoonlite
Summary: Jade wonders how her life would have gone if she and Beck had never gotten back together.
Relationships: Beck Oliver/Jade West
Kudos: 24





	and they said, speak now

Jade wonders how her life would have gone if she and Beck had never gotten back together.

They’d still be friends. It would be too hard to cut the other out of their lives, they’d find. She would wonder, some days, if it was all in her head, if maybe he  _ was _ over it. Over whatever they had between them. But then he’d look at her in the vet’s office and she’d find herself not having to ask at all. And for whatever reason she’d never be able to overcome her fear, never work up the nerve to tell him she still loved him. So they’d never get back together. Because she was a coward. A coward who was confident when it came to everything, except when it mattered the most.

And they’d go about it as if nothing was wrong. As if they were both completely fine with it.

They weren’t fine with it. Not really.

Or at least, she wasn’t. He was perfectly willing to wait for her. That’s how it always worked. She’d get paralyzed by fear and he’d wait patiently by her side until she was ready. But the words died on her tongue every damn time. It wasn’t like she didn’t  _ try. _ She did. She wanted to tell him, she swears she did. But maybe she wasn’t meant for that kind of courage.

So it never happened. They went on their way as friends and just that. Regardless of all the stolen glances aimed directly at each other. But maybe it was just easier to push it out of her mind instead of working up her nerve.

They’d end up at the same college. Convenient, no? And he would still be her best friend, his roommate with a poor sense of personal space would cause him to spend more time at her’s than his. Everyone would assume there was something going on between them, she’d wish they were right. Sometimes, he’d look at her in the way he used to, as if he forgot that he wasn’t supposed to. But he never made an attempt to bring back what they had. So maybe he was just as much of a coward that she was.

She wasn’t oblivious, she knew they’d dropped the ball. Which was why she wasn’t surprised when he agreed to go out with some nice girl from his job at the coffee shop. It’s not like she couldn’t see it coming. He’d held out for almost three years, he could hardly be blamed, and everyone else knew that it was about time.

Besides, Beck could have done worse. Blaire was  _ nice. _ She really was. Or at least, nicer than Jade. She was the right amount of spunky, witty, and more willing to go with the flow.

She was an admirable successor, Jade thought. She wouldn’t really know, Blaire had never warmed up to her, but who could blame her? Beck probably told her about their past, and Universe knows that if it were Jade, she’d be far more outwardly jealous. But even with Blaire’s apprehension towards Jade, the rest of their friends seemed to like her. Hell, Blaire had fit in with the group almost immediately. Probably because she didn’t yell or threaten them with scissors, but to be fair, Jade had been fourteen and hormonal. But being the only single person in the group didn’t bode well for Jade. Somehow, she had skipped third-wheeling and went straight to seventh-wheeling.

But it was whatever. It was a small price to pay. Staying in touch with friends from high school was a difficult feat on its own, having to be the only single one was a slight that could be overlooked. Besides, she was starting to like being single. Or at least, she needed herself to start liking being single, otherwise things would go south way too fast.

But they’d get through without a hitch. Or at least, without as much of a hitch that two awkward exes can. Even more, they’d be quite close for exes. Though she could never bring herself to cut him off and throw out what they had.

Then two years passed by like they were nothing. And next thing she knew, Beck was engaged. Rather, Beck proposed to his girlfriend. And she said yes. Right after college.

It would be fine. Jade would be fine.

She wasn’t mad. Wasn’t even  _ sad.  _ But when she’d heard the news, from Robbie of all people, all she could manage to get out was a feeble, “Oh.” And that was what she found on repeat in her head. Oh.

And for whatever reason, the news hit her out of nowhere. It was possible that she should’ve seen it coming from a mile away. After all, Beck had always been one to commit, though she didn’t think that rushing into a marriage was the way it would end.

She kept it together until Robbie left. As soon as the apartment was empty, she found herself mourning what could have been if she had only been a little strong. A little more courageous. A little more how she liked to present herself. Maybe then she wouldn’t have to watch him rush to a decision when he had never been particularly impulsive.

And her friends would stop by, ask her how she was doing, if she was holding up fine, if she was doing okay. Funny, wasn’t it, that Jade had been nothing but supportive when she found out, yet everyone else was wary of her reaction. Really showed what they thought of her, in her opinion. Or maybe she just wasn’t as good at hiding as she thought she was.

Not that she was still hung up on high school affairs, it had been four years after all, but she couldn’t help but feel sprung up on. They were barely out of college, the thought of  _ anyone _ that she knew getting married that fast was jarring, let alone her ex-boyfriend.

“You know, if you ask me, I think they’re rushing into things,” Trina told her one day, patting her on the back consolingly. Or, as consolingly as Trina Vega possibly could. “Pretty sure she pressured him into it. Especially since she’s got her rich parents to pay for it all.”

She wondered if she was to blame. If this was a situation where blame could be assigned at all. Maybe it wasn’t a blaming game but rather a series of poorly made decisions manifesting in one great burning disaster. Okay. Maybe not a disaster. But still not the greatest choice. There wasn’t much she could do about it now, though. So she remained supportive. Or at least put on the guise of support.

But despite whatever she felt, she went anyway. Packed into some random Church on some hot summer day with dozens of people she didn’t know all decked in the most stereotypical Church attire Jade had ever seen. The whole thing screamed Not Beck. She took a seat in one of the only free pews left right next to Robbie as the others spread out to find vacancies.

The ceremony droned on dreadfully, the organ sounding more like a siren of death. She wasn’t sure if she was meant to keep looking at Beck or if she should look away, but that only resulted in her gaze deadlocked straight at him in the front of the room. The more the processional went on, the dread in Jade’s gut only grew. She wasn’t sure if she was upset with the whole affair or if she was upset with herself for feeling that way.

Then they say it,  _ ‘Speak now.’ _ She was pretty sure she’d tuned out everything until that moment. The words reverberated through her skull. And before she could even stop herself she felt herself standing up.

All eyes in the room turned harshly upon her and she was suddenly faced by a sea of horrified family members and disappointed looks from her own friends. Worst of all was Beck, staring directly at her, frozen in shock, his eyes a mix of confusion and something pained. Because how else would he react? It wasn’t like he was in the best position here.

But despite every single thought that had run through her mind, every vitriolic quip she had in the months leading up to the wedding, she couldn’t do it. Once again, she couldn’t bring herself to just  _ say what she wanted to say. _ Who did she think she was? She was never the type for dramatically blurted romantic confessions at the last hour. That was never her, it was never going to  _ be _ her. She knew she was running out of time, that only so much time could go without her saying anything before it turned for the worse. But  _ once again, _ silence befell her and she did nothing but stare straight at him, her eyes wide and apologetic. It wasn’t like he could just up and run away with her. It was too late, she knew. Too late to say anything, too late for her to come to these realizations, too late for them to fix things.

She felt Robbie tug on her arm, with a pleading muttering, “Jade, come on, just sit down. Don’t do this right now.”

He was right, she shouldn’t deal with it right here or right now, but she couldn’t just  _ sit back down.  _ Not after causing this much of a disruption. Everyone was either incredibly angered at her or disappointed at the very least. And in that moment, she felt infinitely small, as if the world could swallow her up and no one would notice.

There was only one thing she could do, and it was to run. With one last apologetic look to Beck, she found herself shoving her way through the pew and out of the Church entirely.

She threw herself into her car, her heart pounding like a fucking stampede, the guilt catching up to her. There was no universe that existed where she was the hero of this story. She knew that this was completely and entirely her fault. There was no other way around it.

She knew she should’ve said something  _ years _ ago instead of waiting until her literal last chance. Sure, all of their friends knew that he was rushing into things, but she shouldn’t have waited that long. It was on her. She was never one to cry, never one to shed a tear, but she couldn’t help her eyes from slowly filling up.

If only she hadn’t waited until it was too late.

But that’s not how it happens. Instead, she stays up late, pours her entire soul into a song in the smallest hours of the night, cranking her amp down to the softest setting as not to wake anyone up. She finds her words, finds her courage, completely by herself. By the time it’s done, perfected to the point of satisfaction, the floor of her room is littered with the crumpled up remnants of ditched lyrics that simply weren’t good enough. Two weeks later, she bares her heart onstage, letting everything she’s ever wanted to say come out right then and there. He watches like he could never get tired of her, kisses her onstage in front of everyone they know, and they come back stronger than they were before.

Some time after college they move into an apartment together. It’s not too bad for two people on an actor’s salary. Especially in Los Angeles of all places. And it’s a good life. Not the best of course, there’s always room for improvements, but they’re happy. They run lines together and help each other prep for auditions, they alternate cooking dinners and doing the dishes, he drags her to weekend farmer’s markets that she pretends to hate. It’s awfully domestic for the girl she used to be, but she can’t find a single cause for complaint. Besides, there are worse things in life than settling your life down and finding peace of both mind and heart.

There are no wrong answers when it comes to love, but she thinks she and Beck may have found the right one.

It’s a quiet Saturday morning that’s starting to bleed into noon, she’s drinking her third cup of coffee of the day and he’s trying to figure out how to fix a broken mug. It had fallen out of the cabinet last week when they were emptying out the dish rack. It would normally be whatever, but as they went to sweep the remnants into the garbage can, she’d mentioned it was one of her favorites. And since then he’d been hellbent on putting it back together. It’s endearing, don’t get her wrong, but even  _ she _ doesn’t take her mugs that seriously.

“You don’t have to do that,” she reminds him. “I promise I can just use a different one.”

“Yeah, but you like this one,” he says frowns, not taking his eyes off of the drying mug shards in front of him.

She rolls her eyes, smiling softly, her heart warming at the sight. And then it hits her, just how much she loves him. She isn’t sure what it is about this moment, right here, right now, but she’s suddenly overcome with a wave of emotion for the person sitting a mere three feet away. 

She isn’t sure how long they’ve been together, whether she should count from the summer before high school, or from when they got back together in junior year. But either way, it’s been a glorious 15 years of knowing Beck Oliver. She thinks that others don’t have the luxury of finding solace that early on, but he’s such a fixture in her life that she’s never thought about it before now.

And she knows that he’s the kind of person that she wants around forever. Actually, not even ‘the kind’, just the person she wants around forever.

“Marry me,” she blurts out suddenly, before the logical part of her brain can even think of stopping her.

He pauses and looks up from the mug, his face still slightly frozen in concentration, “What?”

“Marry me,” she repeats. “We’ve been together for so long, and I can’t imagine a life without you. I think it’s about time for us.”

“You mean it?” His face breaks into a wide smile, his eyes watching her carefully as if he’s worried she’s going to take it back at any moment.

“Yeah, I do mean it,” she replies earnestly, reaching out to take his hand into hers and pulling him into the seat on the couch next to her. “I mean, we’re both in it for the long run, right? Otherwise, I think you’ve wasted the past few years of your life on me.

His eyes run over her, as if he’s still not sure that what he’s witnessing is reality.

“What, did you want to be the one to ask? Is that the issue here?” she smirks. “Because I think I beat you to it.”

“Wait, you’re serious? Like for real?” He rushes out.

“Yeah, for real.” She affirms. “I know it’s out of nowhere but I just had to ask.”

“Okay, yeah,” he nods, breathlessly. “Let’s do it. Let’s get married.”

She lets out a laugh of triumph, rushing forward and taking his face in her hands, kissing him soundly. In a billion other universes, she gets it wrong. But in this one, she gets it right.

It’s a small affair, filled with only the people they’re closest to, but they wouldn’t want it any other way. And on a warm autumn day, they seal their fates.

**Author's Note:**

> This is like my least favorite thing I've written but I wrote the proposal scene like last week at 2 am and needed a fic to go with it so. Here's this i guess. Idk I feel like Jade would totally propose and I feel like it's a discussion that needs to be had bc I never see fics with it.


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